A Good Busy

I'm so excited for this month! It's a busy one. I've been spending my Sundays going to choir rehearsals to learn music for upcoming Easter programs! I believe at one point not too long ago this might have felt overwhelming, but I'm really enjoying it this year. It really feels like parts of me are coming back from being lost in all of the emotional chaos that was my life for so long. I used to absolutely love busy Sundays when I was younger. I mean, the busier the better. I'm not talking recreation, work or labor type of busy, but church and family type of busy. 

I've also been trying to keep up on the creative projects with hopes that they might become worthwhile for someone. My week is full of going between different projects for my YouTube channels (I have multiple ones) and trying to catch up with my writing. I have two active writing projects. One of them is sharing memories about living life with my brother. The other is a story I've been putting off for a long time. Unfortunately, it's been long enough that I'm needing to refresh my memory of the details I need to remember, so that one's going to take some time, but with my story about my brother is gaining momentum. It's novella size now, and I'm not far into it yet. On my writing YouTube channel, I've been trying to finish off my cursive writing exercises, and I'm really tempted to have some fun and show people how to do mirror writing. It really twists your mind, especially if your language writes from right to left, but it's fun to do if you can figure it out. It's said that reading upside down is uncommon also. I know how to do it, but I'm not sure yet how to explain it to people. It may be possible the mirror writing could help with that, because it's training your mind to see letters in different ways. Yet at the same time I want to talk about my writing on there also. I've got so many interests it's crazy.

But Easter is coming and I'm eager to celebrate it this year! It's an awesome time of year--though I'd like Mother Nature to stop sending these high-pressure systems over us and let us have some rain, hint...hint...😁

The daffodils are in bloom!

Strength

Spring is on its way in, not that we had much of a winter, but some of the daffodils are in bloom! I was worried about them a week or two ago since we had some storms coming in, bringing on some really cold nights (I'm talking about 20 degrees or lower Fahrenheit). I'm constantly amazed at how hardy those flowers are! They may have drooped for a few days under the weight of snow, but they bounced back up. Thank goodness we're finally seeing some weather around here, but I'm not here to focus on the weather.

I've been going around inspecting the yard for other flowers coming out and I'm pleased to say that the mums are showing growth--I haven't killed them off yet. The tulips and hyacinths are coming out of the ground. Last, but not least, I've found our snapdragons are growing. One in particular has me really happy seeing it growing. When I inspected the grounds last year, it wasn't looking good. That plant appeared dead and throughout Spring and Summer it was barely leafing. I was really concerned that I'd seen the end of it after seeing it so healthy and happy looking the previous years. It's still small, but it's actively leafing, giving me a lot of hope that maybe we'll get a bloom out of it this year.

As I looked at the struggles that plant was going through, I found myself relating to it. Thinking about the past several years. Having to deal with a difficult job loss and the deaths of two close family members in such a narrow amount of time, I felt in some ways like this plant: Figuratively nearly losing my life and barely surviving. I found each emotional slam weigh me down even while I was trying to bounce back and live. But as this plant, I'm still fighting, and the signs of life are ever so slowly coming back just as this flower is doing. I don't know what lies ahead and whether I'll produce beautiful flowers as vibrant as before, but I know that as long as I try to do my best each day, I can trust in a beautiful result, whatever it may be. This flower and I, we're in it together.

Differences in Perspective

The other day, I took a few selfies on my camera and toyed with some ai features that my phone offered. Most of the features I didn't like, because they changed my face so entirely that there was 0% similarity between the result and how I look. They looked like an entirely different woman! I tried some illustrated features that turned photos into artistic effects. For once, I was excited to get a result that had a good resemblance to my original photo!

I showed the photos to a family member. She didn't like it. She said she didn't like it, because it didn't make me look as old as I was. Thanks for that, I guess. I showed it to my dad later on in consternation over her comment and he told me he didn't think it looked like me at all. Well, gee. I guess my inner ego needed some humbling! It was already late at night, and I was having a hard time going to sleep, because I was so upset over their comments of what I thought was a really good portrayal. Also, consider the fact that this person is older and not sold on AI yet. She's very traditional and struggles with change. It's the same with Dad. I'm not sure he even understands what AI is.

As I lay there crying over the rejection, it dawned on me something that I should have realized years ago. Both of those family members, and likely a few others who weren't present, looked at the world in a much different perspective than I did, and it began to make sense to me why things they occasionally say makes me feel misunderstood. I began to realize that they were concrete thinkers. They rely on physical the physical and tangible in the present time and direct experience to see the world around them. I, on the other hand, do not look at the world this way. I look at the world abstractly. I see life in metaphors, symbols, emotional interpretations, and representations. As a result of this difference, sometimes our perspectives clash. In this case, they wanted the real me physical. In my case, I saw it as the real me, but in more symbolic terms. To me, it expresses my artistic tastes. In my mind, that is as much a part of me as the physical attributes, and sometimes I feel like that side is more of who I am than the physical aspect. 

I'm not blind of what AI does to photos, so I have some understanding what they are saying. I was playing around with it the other day on a photo of me. Sitting back and looking at the generated result, I knew something was off about the picture. I did a mirror flip, because it was a mirror reflection, but that's the most drastic request that I made.  It looked really off. I stewed over it for several minutes until I noticed a detail I hadn't notices at first. AI had made corrections to my skin by taking out imperfections. As good as I looked in that picture, it felt fake. I will have to instruct AI in the future not to mess with those things. 

AI has been useful in other ways, though. I have old photos that are poor quality, and I know photo editing terminology well enough to instruct AI exactly how to correct the photos. I tried it on a photo I've been fighting for a while now. Its quality is poor, but it was a picture of me as a child and I wanted it fixed. AI fixed it up nicely, and I was so pleased that I was able to finally see my little face clearly! AI isn't my primary go-to, but it's been a good help for things like this when everything I've tried hasn't worked. Perhaps AI will be the thing in the future, but for now, I'm preferring to try things myself first and using AI as backup.

Original photo

Corrected photo

Challenges Old and New

We're halfway through the month already! I haven't done anything spectacular to report since the last post, but reflecting on past posts that I've made, some recently, where I've spouted out opinions. Some of my posts probably make me sound like a know-it-all and someone who's completely decided on a topic, because my writing can come out rather strongly. I've had people misunderstand me before. I'm not wholeheartedly decided on many topics, and there are plenty that I'm still trying to understand.

I went off recently about social media and how upset it was making me. I'm not entirely anti-social media. It's often the only source I have to keep connections with family and others. I don't normally make friends on it, because I'm very conservative about who I let in my circles, but I have met a few interesting people that I didn't know before. I think the main concern I have about it, and it was basically the indirect message behind my past posts, is the negative effects it can have on people's lives, whether intentional or not. I feel that even online, we need to be careful about what we are sharing, and too many people aren't. I can't express how heartbreaking it is when I find out about a child, who hasn't even had the chance to live a full life, ends up committing suicide, because of things people are saying about them via text or online. That's why I was going off about it. I'm just troubled about a lot of things I'm hearing and seeing about: people struggling to find a new job after losing one and having mental health issues as a result. People suffering physically and not being able to find answers financially or physically. People suffering from the current state of the nation. It's just difficult to witness, so I have to take breaks from it all to spare my sanity. 

I can't totally disregard social media, because I like to share things also, basically more of my creative things rather than personal stuff, but it is highly valuable for that purpose. I'm experimenting on a new YouTube channel that will correlate with this blog. It uses a similar name. Still trying to figure out how to get it going. I only have one video on it so far, but thanks to having this blog for a while, it gives me ideas, and I can attach videos that relate to certain topics that I've spoken about before, perhaps with more detail about how my experiences are related to my quiet ways. We'll see how it goes. It's a lot of work right now, because I'm still trying to figure out what I want on my videos, but it's a challenge I'm not afraid to take on.

For everyone out there who celebrates, Happy Valentine's Day! Whether you have plans or not, just remember that no matter where you're at, you are still important and make a great impact in the world. Thanks for all you do!

I may have shared this previously, but here it is again, in honor of Valentine's Day.
One of my attempts at drawing.

Goodbye, January

I can't believe January has ended! While everyone else felt like the month took forever, I felt it fly by! You know what? That's a great thing! You know why? Because it means that my month was awesome!

I was on a walk last week, realizing how much easier it's been for me to get up and get going. I have to admit that I'd been struggling with that for a while. Going on walks in the past few years felt like a chore, but at least for the time being, I'm starting to find them more pleasant. It has nothing to do with the season. In fact, we're going through a terrible winter, and I'm not exaggerating about that. I'm still finding a lot to be happy about, though. I don't know the reason behind it. I only know that I'm no longer feeling reluctant to start my day, and there's more energy, too. 

I don't normally consider myself that ambitious, but I've got a few plans up my sleeve to try out, even though I'm unsure if I have the support. There have been continuous thoughts and messages coming at me from intentional and unintentional sources sending me a message to go for it, despite the fact that I have no idea of it being successful. To be honest, I've had too many instances in the past when I've tried things only to be left disappointed and heartbroken. Because of that, it's difficult for me to jump into things, especially when I put my heart into it. It's still worth trying.

Here's to hoping the trend continues, so that I make some good decisions for the next steps in life!

A relaxation video made here from my Aurora Borealis night light:

Hope Still Lives

I don't think many people are able to access my blog yet since my domain is in the middle of updating, but for the few who are still able to access, here are my thoughts for this week.

I know things are getting scary out there and there's a lot of anxiety going on, not just in politics, but in general life. People are going through a lot of things right now. I hope and pray that they have someone on their side to help and support them. When I lost my jobs several years ago, it was basically like experiencing a death, and then within the five years following that I actually did experience the death of some very close family members. It's been difficult to pick up after being wiped out all over again with another round of grief. Despite my perspective and believe in living after death, it's still hard to experience. To those dealing with this also, I grieve with you.

I'm anxious about what I'm witnessing, and yet I'm at peace at the same time. That is possible. My situation right now isn't ideal. There are still some things I need to address with myself, but I don't feel discouraged. I've said it in the past, probably a while ago, but I still believe it; that no matter how dark it gets, hope still exists, even when I've lost sight of it.

Don't get discouraged and know that you still have a place in this world even when things look hopeless, because it isn't. Hope is waiting past the storms, past the darkness, and past the dangerous paths. Don't give up!

The Bad Side of Social Media

As you know, I dismissed the rumors a while ago about Disneyland changing the Evil Queen to being Halloween only. It turns out that it wasn't the character they were referring to, but one specific person portraying her, and it happens to be the one I encountered. I'm hearing a lot of people blaming Disney for this, but I'm sorry to suggest it, but I also think the responsibility lies on social media. 

There are many people out there who have been respectful, but as her popularity grew, it was bound to attract individuals who don't understand or think about what they are doing online. I came across her name by accident, but chose to not reveal it, because I knew Disney has strict rules about that. From what I saw on her things, she was good at not talking about it. Perhaps other people aren't aware of the rules or don't care, but I was beginning to see people identifying her real name in video comments. I got upset when I saw that, because I knew it meant trouble. There may have been other factors, but I don't doubt that this played a role. For all of you out there who like to watch character interactions from any Disney park, please be cautious. Feel free to enjoy the interactions, but make sure you're being respectful toward those cast members in all things so that we all can continue to enjoy their art. 

This may be applicable in many places that aren't Disney related also. Just saying.

I don't know if you'll see this, Sabrina, but if you do, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors. I know what it feels like to be, "Let go," but don't let that get you down. I believe you'll be able to find success, since you're so talented. Thank you for all you've done.

And in your honor 😁:

Happy New Year!

I've officially defaulted back to my blogspot domain. I was getting a lot of visits from the custom domain, but I was getting some spam comments on my sister blog, Becky's Writing Nook, and have a suspicion that a good number of my visits were coming from bots, so I changed back. I know it's going to limit my visits, but I'd rather have the genuine few than the many fakes, if you know what I mean.

Another year has passed, and I've lost another family member. My aunt passed away the day after Christmas. She had been growing weaker in the past few years, and we made sure to visit her when she was in our area. She was my mom's only sister. There were three children in the family altogether, and the remaining relative is my uncle, who lives in Southern California. They were all close, so I'm a little concerned about him feeling lonely. He used to chat with my aunt often. We attended her funeral this past weekend, and it was great to meet with cousins we hadn't seen for a long time. Her children were older than us and living in different states, so we didn't get to meet often. I was happy to see that she was buried in a cemetery that was overlooked by the mountain I used to see from the bedroom I slept in at her house when we visited while she was taking care of Grandma. It's a beautiful red rock formation on the east side, overlooking two cities, Toquerville and La Verkin. That brought back some good memories.

I'm back on the singing practice again. Once the Christmas things finished, practices for another meeting were needed for a conference in January. The songs the choir is learning are beautiful arrangements and a little more challenging in some places, which I'm all for. I really love it when they challenge me!

Here's to a new year! To be honest, last year was a little difficult for me. I really had some emotional struggles going on, and I think at least part of it was on account of reaching the one-year anniversary of my brother's death. People say that the grief is difficult at the beginning, but I found for me personally, it was after the year mark that was harder, and I felt comforted to learn that it's rather common for people to experience that in the second year. Glad to know I'm still normal, relatively speaking. 😉

Here's a recording I made of one of the Christmas songs I sang in. As I explain in the YouTube description, the recording is highly favoring the piano. I recorded from my phone, and I haven't yet figured out an alternative recording spot where I know no one will play with it. I was singing second soprano. We were slightly outnumbered, but I think we were mostly audible. BTW, for the conference, there's also a women's only number, so I'll see if I can get a copy of it. Someone often records that for us.

Notice

Just a quick alert for anyone who revisits my pages, I'm discontinuing my current domain of www.quietlifeobservations.com, but will still have the blogspot domain, so there may be issues if links were shared under the previous. I'll still be here. You'll find me under my blogspot domain, or just look up Quiet Observations, and you should be able to find me. 

Thank you!

Christmas Movies

There are many holiday movies out there, and we're into the thick and thin of the season now. Here's my list of favorites and dislikes for the season at the current time. Allow me to remind you that I do have limitations. I seriously lack in my exposure to movies in comparison to others. Watching movies isn't one of my common recreations. I hadn't even stepped in to a movie theater until I was a teen, and I only watch movies occasionally. So, with that confession, I'll continue with the ones I have been exposed to. I have more favorites than dislikes and I may not cover all, but here's what I can come up with:

1. It's a Wonderful Life 5/5: For one thing, I love these old classic movies. Brilliantly executed and the theme is universal. It shows the audience what is really important in life. I love a good story that makes me think about things.
2. A Christmas Carol (variety). There are various versions I have seen, so I'll have to mention the ones I remember the best and rank those: 
• 1951 with Alastair Sim 3/5. A lot of people really like this adaption, but I find the extra scenes a little weird. 
• 1970 Scrooge with Albert Finney 3/5. I struggled to get into the music on this musical adaptation. Only the "Thank You Very Much" song was catchy to me, but I somewhat warmed up a little more to it last time I watched it, so maybe I'll learn to like it better. 
• 1984 with George C. Scott 4/5. I grew up watching this adaption, so I really like watching this one. It's my dad's favorite adaption as well. 
• There is also an old animated one I have seen, but I don't know when it was produced nor who did the voice for Ebenezer Scrooge. I think it was made for television. That one I enjoyed watching also and give it a 4/5.
• Muppet Christmas Carol 1992 5/5: I grew up on the Muppets, and the best part other than the humor was the music. It is absolutely beautiful in this movie, and I fortunately have a copy with the "When Love is Gone" song in it. I was absolutely shocked when I heard they took that out at some point, because makes the reprise at the end that much more meaningful. It has to have that song in it to be a 5/5!
3. Spirit of the Season (2006 Tabernacle Choir Christmas Concert) 5/5: The DVD for this is no longer distributed, but I believe it's on YouTube. It's a Christmas Concert held by the Tabernacle Choir with guest star Sissel. Of all the Christmas concerts they have performed, this one has always been among the favorites, because of Sissel's clear and ethereal voice.
4. Charlie Brown Christmas 1965 4/5: This is associated with nostalgia. When we didn't have television or movies for entertainment, we had books, and they entertained us during those early years. We had many Peanuts Gang books among them.
5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas 1966 4/5: Another nostalgic movie, because we had Dr. Seuss books at home also. I must clarify that the one I like is the original animated movie. The movie made in 2000 is not my favorite. I would give that one a 2/5. It was ok, but for some reason I never could get into Jim Carrey. His humor was a little bit much for me.
6. Frosty the Snowman 1969 4/5: Nostalgia again. It was a fun story to go along with the song.
7. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer 1964 4/5: Nostalgic. I like the story about how the characters who felt like misfits finally found a place, and I enjoy the music.
8. Polar Express 2004 4/5: The story is a little bit weird, but I think it's supposed to be; otherwise, it wouldn't be magical. To be honest, there are a lot of movies I watch primarily for the music, and I think this is one of them.
9. Elf 2003 4/5: It's quirky, and the quirks make it funny and enjoyable. I'm not normally a fan of Will Ferrell, but I like him in this. The humor is over-the-top, which I usually can't stand, but there's enough seriousness to balance it out.
10. Home Alone 1990 2/5: As I mentioned, I don't do too much over-the-top, and this movie was too much. I'm a weirdo who requires a good solid plot and bonus points if the story comes with a theme or message that is thoughtworthy. This movie has neither. 
11. The Santa Clause 1994 3/5: It's an interesting story. I'm lukewarm on this one. I don't hate it, but I don't love it, either.
12. Nightmare Before Christmas 1993 3/5: I know a lot of people who LOVE this movie. There's a debate on whether this is more appropriate for Christmas or Halloween. Personally, I don't think one or the other. I'd say both, because that's an option, too. I ranked it down, because I'm not a Halloween person, so I didn't love the movie, but I didn't hate it, either.

There are probably more movies, but these are the ones I can think of for now. I don't know if I'll post before or after the holiday next, but for those who celebrate it, have a wonderful Christmas! For anyone else celebrating other things during this time also, I hope your days are wonderful also!

Enjoy this recent song I played with my flute. I made the third verse arrangement.

Christmas Season!

It's now my favorite time of the year! Truth be told, I was concerned about being able to feel the holiday spirit this year since there are some things now that come to mind that make things melancholy. It's the time of year also for some somber anniversaries now. My mom passed away the day before Thanksgiving three years ago, and her birthday follows two days later. My deceased brother's birthday was two weeks later on December 8. This is the second year without him. To top it all off, this winter isn't even winter right now. We're very warm for this time of year, too warm for snow. We had one or two storms that left a skiff of snow before the warmth set in, and now if any storms come in, it will only come as rain. I love rain, but not during winter. I've been dreaming of a nice blanket of white for a few years now, but ever since I bought a pair of snow boots a few years ago, we haven't had a decent amount. I guess I jinxed it (wink, wink).

To help us on these melancholy anniversaries, our family decided to do some activities in their memory, some things that were their favorite things to do. For Mom, we simply had her favorite desert (root beer float). For my brother, Mike, we went again to see the Luminaria at Thanksgiving Point. We weren't originally going to go on that day, but I talked the others into it, because it's a Christmas/holiday light festival, and Mike LOVED lights. We always made sure he got prime view for our Christmas tree each year, which he would watch for hours (if he was able to physically sit that long). He also loved music, which Luminaria plays throughout the tour.

A sample of the Luminaria display.

 On Friday, I had a sibling who with some luck managed to get a hold of tickets to the Tabernacle Choir Concert. I was able to go to it, and it was so fun! We even had a little segment when the audience was invited to sing along! We got there early enough prior to get a glimpse of the new Christmas lights on Temple Square. They have a lot of nice areas to sit around and enjoy the atmosphere.

Temple Square. Salt Lake City Temple is still under renovation and will be until at least another
year.

But wait...there's more!!!! The next day, I went to see FROZEN at the Hale Center Theater in Sandy, and it did not disappoint! To be honest, from the other performances I'd seen of it, the trademark scene where "Let it Go" is performed, I always felt like there was so much potential for special effects, and was never completely satisfied, until this performance. I've loved the other performances as well, but Hale Center seems to be the only one willing to take that challenge another step and make that scene as magical as it was supposed to be. Absolutely amazing! Perhaps it was also a matter of the type of stage setting that made it possible. Hale Center Theater's stage is a round theater, so they have to cover all bases. The audience seating makes it possible for everyone to see, and it feels more intimate. I left that performance feeling like I'd seen the movie for the first time again. I left feeling cheerful and full of energy, which signals that the actors did their job and connected with me. That's why I love theater a little more than movies. The live interaction helps me connect so much more to the actors.

A waterfall outside the Hale Center Theater in Sandy, Utah.

You have to be grateful for all of the talented performers who are willing to spend so much time during the holiday season to help remind us about why we should be glad and joyful at this time of year. I have a few very good reasons to struggle during the holidays, but how in the world am I supposed to stay miserable when I'm surrounded by such beautiful reminders? Thank you to all who are willing to sacrifice time and share you talents with those of us who need to remember why we should be joyful!

A Reflection

I have a copy of this AI from one of those silly Facebook games that I have done a few times, only a few, because they get really irritating at nagging me on messenger enough as it is. A lot of those pictures I don't care much for anyway. Anyway, When I looked at that picture, it made me think of a time back when I was about nine years old, and my fourth-grade teacher was having us do an activity that asked us our favorite color. For whatever reason, there aren't any memories of other teachers previous asking that question, so I didn't really have a favorite color. I liked several colors but never thought of narrowing it down to one.

Even at that age, I was already thinking about things at a deeper level. As I watched the other kids around me talk about their favorite colors, I noticed that there were a lot of pinks and blues being mentioned. As much as I liked those colors, I thought maybe to go for something different. Being a bit of a fairy-tale kid, I narrowed my choice down to two: red (scarlet) and purple. The reason behind it? They were colors of royalty. I racked my little brain to decide which of the two I wanted to pick, and with my reasoning at the time, I thought red can resemble some bad things, too, such as blood and, in religious terms, sin. So, purple became my favorite color. Even as a kid, I had to have more of a reason besides the way I liked how it looked! 

As I look at this picture, even if it displays the "other color" I rejected, it reminds me about who I am as a person and that even though some people haven't appreciated, known, or understood me well enough, this is a slight resemblance of how God sees me, and it is a glorious sight, even though I might not see it myself. I am of divine worth, as is everyone else.

Are you able to see it?

A Word

Before I get into this, I want to admit that I've been caught up in things, too, so I understand how people were caught up in this. I just wanted to say a thing or two, and hopefully, it will come out intelligently. A week or so ago, I came across this post in social media and, like many others, wondered if there was something going on there. It was a conversation between a frequent Disneyland guest and the Evil Queen speaking about how she needs to be year-round and not taken away after Halloween. It really sounded like something was happening that those of us who didn't go often weren't aware of, but then we have to remember these are skilled actors, who can make things believable, and they are good at it. 

For those who don't know, The Queen is normally around the park through most of the year. This Evil Queen is often referred to as the Viral Evil Queen. Many people watch the character interaction videos just to see her. As social media vloggers like to do in order to get views, they sensationalized the conversation by spreading rumors and false information. I may have wondered about the conversation but concluded that it was another playful conversation, and that if there really was going to be a change, we'd hear from a company representative, so I waited to hear from Disney before believing anything. It's really vital this day and age to make sure you're getting your information from the right places!

I saw in comments to some of these "rumor" videos was that many people were complaining that they were planning on going to Disneyland for the main purpose to see the Queen, this one in particular. Pardon me for being extremely direct: That is not a wise motivation! I say that for a couple of reasons. Firstly, there are more to Disneyland than the Queen. Take care you don't miss out on those things, because you're so obsessed with trying to track her down. Secondly, you can't guarantee when you'll see her, since her appearances aren't announced on the app. Thirdly, it's not a guarantee that it will be her when she appears since they cycle the actors who play The Queen.

Lastly, I want to spread a little love and give credit to the others who play the role as well. The Viral Queen is indeed very entertaining and fun to watch, and I'm not sure after our little interaction that she will ever know that there are many times she has made me smile, but I'm also entertained watching the others' representation of the character as well. Some are serious and some are witty. It's a nice variety. I hope that this little faux pas doesn't affect their hard work. I have had enough performing experience to know that there's more work behind the scenes than we realize. All of these ladies have worked hard to get to where they are, so they deserve the credit when it's due.

*The following is an animated photo I created using the Evil Queen at Disneyland standing in front of the Magic Mirror and posted on YouTube. Some of this was made in Photoshop, but a few of the detailed effects were from a program that sadly no longer exists. 

Last Week of October

It's a busy week, but the majority of the business is good business. The program at church with the children was awesome, and I managed to hoodwink myself into the congregation seats, but that's because I'm still working on my end-of-year masterpiece. The sample was shown on that day. Some of the younger children were too busy with their treats and other things, but the older ones really enjoyed it, until it started going on repeat, but we had other projects to fill the rest of the gap.

I wore my purple velvet dress for the week, and had to take it off before any pictures, but it was fun. The purple is much darker than the color in this fake picture here that I kept for the spirit of the season:

 

Totally fake, and it makes me look a lot better than reality, but I still love to play around with these things. I've got a few other things I enjoy going on this week, but I think most people would find them terribly boring. One of them involves computer work, and the specific programs gives me a challenge to conquer each month. I love the challenge and get super excited when I finally figure it out! No one really seems to get into it as much, but that doesn't get me down.

I have an activity I've been doing for the past three or so years on Halloween night that makes me enjoy the evening a little more. There was one post when I said I didn't like Halloween, but with no specific reason, and then the next year I get on with how I felt abandoned one year. I think that played a major role. This is something I can do with family, so it makes my day feel a lot better, even though it's not related to the holiday.

There was another challenge I created for myself, and that was to create arrangements of some songs I had on my mind since September so that I could play them on my flute. I completed the first one rather hastily, because I wanted to create it while it was still fresh on my mind. The second one is a Christmas song. I'm glad I'm not being hasty on that one, because the harmony is a little more challenging for me, though last time I practiced it, I didn't feel quite as uncomfortable. Thinks are looking up! If anyone's interested in the first one, here it is:

T

his is the song I had stuck in my head that helped me feel calm after being overwhelmed by hearing about so many tragic events.

Not Upset or Hopeless

There are a lot of people out there who see everything that is going on and can't help but look at it with a critical or cynical eye. I can't blame them. There are a lot of awful things going on in the world. I've been connected to some of it lately. They are overlooking the good things. It's true that those aren't as easy to see, because of all the chaos that media and social media like to throw in our faces (after all, they have always specialized in sensationalism), but the good things absolutely exist. There's hope, and I'm saying that as a person in a bit of a sticky situation, too. I can't help but feel that there's something good out there waiting for me to find it and figure it out. 

I came across this meme going around on Facebook that explains me well:

"Unfortunately, I am more sensitive 

than I seem. So if you didn't think

it hurt me, it did.

I chose to stay quiet

and avoid the drama."

Then after reading that and realizing how true that was for me, I thought about how the message can be seen as dark and slightly twisted humor, but it's not necessarily negative. We see every day what happens when people react otherwise. I find that causing drama out of these types of situations only exacerbates it with little to no advantage for anyone. The only thing it's certain to accomplish is extending the pain.

The next question comes to mind, Doesn't staying quiet mean an unhealthy practice of bottling up feelings because you're not expressing them? No! It's not always making it worse! In fact, many professionals recommend that if you're feeling a lot of hurt, then it might be better to take a step back and evaluate the situation before deciding to react. I know it works. I've had to do it a numerous number of times. Even with the ones when the pain hits hard, it really helps not to react too much. It helped when interactions didn't work the way I wanted. It helped when I lost my job.

Being able to step back and think about the situations have helped me gain perspective, about myself as well as about those involved. I'm not the type of person inclined to hold grudges, so I have no one I can think of whom I want to revenge, not do I feel anger toward. I have a chance of becoming better, and they do, too. We're all learning and growing, so I hope things go well for us all!

Lantern Festival I attended in September.