First of all, I've been asked to have a leadership role in our church children's organization in a calling that's bound to keep me on my feet. As I am with everyone, my first encounter with them was very bashful, but I know in time that will loosen up a little. I've already had to give out birthday gifts, and I'm now stuck in the middle of trying to help things get reorganized for not only the new leaders, but also for the new year, which brings a lot of changes.
Second, I did go through with the flute playing that I was asked to do for the Christmas program, and I can state freely that the performance anxiety is still alive and well. This time it was a bit more of a challenge. Part of it had to do with not being able to practice enough with the choir to get used to it, but it was also the fact that this time I managed to memorize the part, and so I took the challenge and tried to play it without my sheet music! That was a great challenge. I had no stand to hide behind! I put myself up front without a security shield! So, yes, the nerves got to me, but not significantly until the ending. I was shaking pretty badly, and my breathing was being affected, but I've dealt with it enough times to know I could pull through it, and I did. It gets really uncomfortable when that happens, but I refuse to call it a failure. Few people noticed anyway, so I'm still calling this one a success!
Now that the holidays are over, you'd think I'd get a break, but...nope. Along with the new leadership position, I've now joined another choir to sing in for another church meeting coming up. I've done it before, and it's really fun. There are people I've met before that I get to work with, and new faces as well. The songs are beautiful arrangements as well, so how can I refuse?
In addition to that, I had a neighbor of mine who passed away on Christmas Eve who was influential to me. She gave me a chance at singing in her choir. I tried out for her choir, and she let me in. That was the only time anyone who required tryouts would let me in, I won't go into that story much. A lot of those other memories were painful. She was the one who convinced me that I might after all be able to sing a tune (or harmony. I only sang soprano for a few months until she needed an alto and she asked me to switch). Anyway, I got news today that they want all of the choir alumni to sing at her funeral one of the songs that seems to have become a favorite throughout the span of the choir's existence (it's still being directed by her oldest daughter and her husband). It's from a cantata the choir sang during the previous years and during my years in the choir. It's a powerful message of being able to stand for right with conviction through great trials titled I Never Stand Alone. They sing it a little differently now, but I think I can still pick it up.
Well, here's to a few busy weeks.
Wish me luck.
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| A Photo from New Years Past. This was a projection that filled the room, and this old light fixture was the focal point. |
