I can't help but think about our conversation, and she was so complimentary about all the efforts I've made with taking care of everyone. I'm not always sure I deserve all of it, because I feel like I don't really do as much as I could, but that's a bit of the beauty of not being perfect: There's always something more to learn and do. My conversation with her brought back memories of the many women of my life who became my cheerleaders, who knew how to uplift and encourage me. It really was a beautiful time of comforting each other, and strengthening each other.
Another phone call to my uncle and aunt (the other diagnosed with cancer recently) ended up with some great news. Even though the cancer was in an advanced stage, so far all of the testing is looking positive and the levels are looking good. That was some great news! I was close to her children while growing up. We played together a lot. They were the ones who encouraged me to mold my imagination and creativity since I was often the instigator in all of our make believe play. She's always kind and friendly toward me.
A side note: along with these events, another has come up that's been demanding more of my time. The help we've been getting for my disabled brother has been slowly disintegrating, and as of this week, the last of what we had has whittled down to practically nothing, so it was decided to discontinue the program. I've had to pick up on the extra work. This has happened before. It's the life of living with a family member as severely disabled as my brother. Very few, if anyone, outside the family really know how to handle him, and few agencies have been able to find people who are willing to work with someone like him who doesn't respond or communicate with them easily. I've always had to pick up the slack. It's part of my life story. The good part of this is that my family was raised in such a way that we have learned to work together concerning taking care of him, so even though I'm having to pick up some extra, there are others nearby who are willing to take some of the times in helping with him, so I'm not having to do 24/7 on two people. He is a blessing to us, because he is what I believe to be our family unifier. There are enough of us with different personalities and perspectives about things that without him could have taken us in other pathways, but because of him, we've learned how to work with each other and solve our problems together.
An interesting thing came up again with our phone call to our neighbor. She was so complimentary on our handling our disabled brother, and couldn't stop talking about him. She told us we needed to write stories or our experiences with him. That's the second time I've heard that idea. I had my oldest brother ask me to do that a few years ago. He wanted me particularly, because not only am I able to write, but I'm also the one who is closest to his age and has more memories with him. I think he feels like I know him the most out of all of the siblings. I have considered the idea, and have started a little something, but I'm not sure how long that will take since a lot of time has gone to caregiving and have had little time to settle down well enough to write. It's not tossed aside though. I promise. That's definitely one thing I can write about.
Thus life moves on, and not all of it is bleak. We take one day at a time, and I plan on each one being at least as good as the last, if not better. These challenges always crop up, but even if it takes muddling through, they will be met successfully. As learned plenty of times in life, let downs will happen, but they should never be the means of ruining the day or even me.
I ain't gonna let a let down drag me down with it.
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| Flowers from Disney California Adventure |
