Part 8: People Who Drop By Unannounced.
Before I go into the people part, let me address what home is to me. Home is a special place for me. It's the place where I can find a quiet room and reflect about whatever random thing is on my mind. I can find quiet there, a place to calm whatever storms I had to face during the day. It's also my creative workshop, where I can work on my own projects and follow my own interests. It's a precious place, a place of refuge, and even a sacred place. In many ways, home is an extension of me.
It often feels like an invasion of my space and privacy. It feels like someone trying to pry into me and my world, and that's not something I share with everyone, not without much scrutiny. I think overall the issue with this situation comes from feeling stressed or anxious with sudden disturbances or interruptions, quite similar to my issue with phones. It's sudden, abrupt, and frankly irritating.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who sees that not only is it kind, but it's also polite to notify someone that you're coming to see them or ask if it's a good time for a visit. That way, the person knows how to adequately prepare for the visitors. For many people, that may be to clean the house and make it presentable, but it also helps to know for those of us who have to not only prepare physically, but emotionally and mentally for the visit.
I had the perfect example of how a visit should be done recently. I had some neighbors who wanted to stop by and visit. They notified me three days ahead and asked if it was ok to stop by. That gave me a chance to work it out with the family involved and I gave the ok. They gave us the approximate time and explained that the visit wouldn't be long so we knew exactly what to expect. By the time the arranged meeting was come it went as they said it would and no one was uncomfortable.
I've had plenty of sudden visits from some neighbors trying to do a kindly deed, but it hasn't always been the best of moments when they showed up. I have someone who (before the pandemic) seemed to feel obligated to either call or show up at my doorstep more often than I needed, and it was a true test of patience, because it was at times too much for me. When the pandemic started, there was less of that, and I was given the space and time to communicate when I was ready. It was clearly a blessing in disguise. I'm hoping that doesn't change too much after all this is over.
As a caregiver, a heads up is always welcome, because it helps me prepare everyone before a visit, and there are some of them who don't like surprise visits either, because they would rather be presentable. We already have enough people coming and going for various reasons, and even though they're expected as well as needed, we still have our moments when we would love to have the house to ourselves again. We love our quiet time here.
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| May not be the prettiest of pictures, but this is one of my most favorite moments of mornings in my home: Watching the tree shadows dance across the window in the morning breeze. |
