Part 14: Leading a Meeting or Discussion
Oh goodness. That last one was difficult to write, not necessarily because of the subject, but because I was writing it on what felt like the longest day of my life. I was so exhausted! This whole week in general has been crazy, and I think it brought out some sensitive emotions, thus the reason I've been saying that I've been feeling heavy this week. That's how things go when you're taking care of people. I've been able to stop and take a few breaks, even start a new creative project, and I took a rather nice nap today, so I have just enough energy to address the next item on the list, which by the way is getting closer to the end (I'm determined to get through these). I may or may not have been tempted to whoop just then. Now to what I'm actually supposed to be writing about.
I've had a few leadership opportunities, and I think the discomfort in this particular situation is related closely to being put on the spot and having to speak in front of a large group. It's certainly another one of those uncomfortable things when you can see all of the faces staring at you. Having that pressure can certainly tie the tongue. As I am with speaking in front of a large group, even though I might get nervous with all of those faces, it's certainly manageable, and I don't have as much of a problem with it as some of my fellow introverts might, just as long as I'm not seeing a bunch of grumpy faces.
I think for me leading a discussion might be harder than leading a meeting. Leading a meeting doesn't always require audience participation, and I am free to talk. In a discussion, it's required to find ways to motivate the people to talk and add their insights. It gets really awkward when the audience is full of reluctant participants. Not being a talker myself, finding that motivational energy would take a lot out of me. It can and does happen. Then there's the possibility of getting a participant bring up a topic that's either out of context and so sidetracked that it takes a lot of energy to stop the flow and bring it back to where the focus needs to be. That can be hard as well, because there's the risk of offending some people. Practically an energy zapper right there.
There is the danger of overthinking following one of these situations. Thinking about the inability to motivate people to participate can be misinterpreted as a bad discussion. Then comes the self criticism for being too boring, being a blathering idiot who couldn't get the points out straight, and feeling altogether dejected, because no one seemed to be inspired at all from the points I brought out. It's a definite danger, and it's a constant lifetime effort to try to keep myself from leading my thoughts this direction.
Tomorrow morning is another beginning. Let's make it just a little bit better than the last!
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| Good morning! |
