Since the last time I visited I've had some lifestyle changes. I'm practically home 24/7 due to some increasing health care needs of my family, and since I'm no longer leaving to a full time job, the finances are a little tighter (hoping to find something soon that will allow me to stay home and take care of things)--thank goodness this trip was planned early enough that that wasn't an issue. In the end, it turned out this break was needed. When you are home all the time taking care of people, sometimes it's a necessity to get out for a while.
There were things that happened there on a personal level that erased the question I had about whether or not I should have kept the plans. I will likely go into more detail about that later as I approach that part of the trip. There was always perhaps a secret hope that maybe I'd run into some of the faces I'd met before, but that didn't happen, perhaps one or two of them in the distance, but I was excited to meet some new ones as well.
I couldn't go on this trip without having a specific goal in mind to make it feel like a worthwhile effort. This time, I decided that on this trip I would use it for a couple of reasons. I'm ready to confess that during my last visit I'd suffered with a lot of internal conflict and questioning myself all the time. I was withdrawn, lonely, and self-critical, that was until I'd made the effort to step out a little and make the effort to put myself forward. The difference between the two were night and day. It may be that pressures from other parts of life might have had some influence on that behavior, but at least I figured it out before it was too late. My first goal was to stop the self-criticism and start looking at my good qualities. It was a good time to focus on it since I was solo again.
I'm not sure if the second was really a goal or just an idea to try out, and I'm not really sure how much I put it into play, but it does apply to something that happened later, so I'll mention it. I thought it would be a good thing to take a little extra effort to be good to the CMs since they are taking extra effort to be good to us. That should just be a natural thing, come to think of it. Anyway, it was all centered around being kind with the people I come into contact with as well as to myself.
Did it all work out in the end? Stay tuned for the details of this continued saga.
There were things that happened there on a personal level that erased the question I had about whether or not I should have kept the plans. I will likely go into more detail about that later as I approach that part of the trip. There was always perhaps a secret hope that maybe I'd run into some of the faces I'd met before, but that didn't happen, perhaps one or two of them in the distance, but I was excited to meet some new ones as well.
I couldn't go on this trip without having a specific goal in mind to make it feel like a worthwhile effort. This time, I decided that on this trip I would use it for a couple of reasons. I'm ready to confess that during my last visit I'd suffered with a lot of internal conflict and questioning myself all the time. I was withdrawn, lonely, and self-critical, that was until I'd made the effort to step out a little and make the effort to put myself forward. The difference between the two were night and day. It may be that pressures from other parts of life might have had some influence on that behavior, but at least I figured it out before it was too late. My first goal was to stop the self-criticism and start looking at my good qualities. It was a good time to focus on it since I was solo again. I'm not sure if the second was really a goal or just an idea to try out, and I'm not really sure how much I put it into play, but it does apply to something that happened later, so I'll mention it. I thought it would be a good thing to take a little extra effort to be good to the CMs since they are taking extra effort to be good to us. That should just be a natural thing, come to think of it. Anyway, it was all centered around being kind with the people I come into contact with as well as to myself.
Did it all work out in the end? Stay tuned for the details of this continued saga.
