I've spoken before about how I have multiple family members dealing with permanent physical issues. Two of them had health issues this week that were more dramatic than we'd care to have in our family. My disabled brother ended up having to go to the ER on Tuesday, and my mom ended up having to stay overnight at the hospital on Wednesday. I was so worked up that night I got insomnia, and it sounds like I wasn't the only one after talking to my sister the other day. My anxiety levels got so high that I was even feeling the effects of it in my muscles--not sure exactly how to explain that. It took a couple of days before I settled down. This is when I decided I needed to subject myself to one of the nature relaxation recordings.
I'd bookmarked a nature relaxation video on YouTube one time last year and decided to pull it up to help me settle down. There was always some skepticism I had about those, because I had school classes in grade school and high school that tried to use it on us, but all it did was give me more anxiety, because I didn't like having the lights turned out on me with other people in the room. This time I resolved to try it alone, use headphones that blocks outside noise, and shut my eyes to avoid visual distractions. That worked so well that I fell asleep and slept the best I had slept in days. I think I'm going to have to use it more often.
The week's drama wasn't over yet. I just found out this morning that my aunt, who has been having health issues all her life--and about the past ten she was battling with cancer--passed away. We received word earlier this year, probably around March or April that her cancer had spread. I knew immediately that she wasn't going to recover from it, that we were going to see another death in the family.
My family's been having a lot of reminders about how fragile and precious life is. My grandma passed away last August and since then one uncle, two aunts, and two family friends have passed away. We've been attending a lot of viewings and funerals lately. It's been an interesting time to think about life and reflect on the people who have played a part of mine. So many memories of these beloved people who are now no longer here. I'm so grateful for the smiles and tears that have been produced over the years with them. It's sad to see them go, but it has been a wonderful pleasure to know them. Their influence will linger on in their survivors and in me. It's a beautiful thing to have so many fond memories.
I keep having this phrase run through my mind. It comes from a Disney song in Robin Hood:
There is some truth to that. Even with all of those that have departed this life, I still feel their influence and love lingering with me. Their bodies are gone, but they aren't. That's the beauty of it.
