I've mentioned before that I have times when I get really frustrated with singing because I hold so much in that not all of it comes out. I am exceedingly introverted so letting things out is not an easy thing for me. That is true in most cases, but I do have moments of "freedom" when I feel like it's all being released. Most of that occurs after a long strenuous effort of learning music and getting comfortable with it. It always comes as a surprise to me--it comes when it wants, no matter how hard I try. The key for me is comfort and connection: as long as I am uncomfortable, there's just no way anyone's going to get my voice out there. It may be a longer process in that aspect for me in learning music, but memorizing is easy for me. Once I memorize it's easier to relax and make a connection. There's something about holding and staring at sheet music that blockades everything for me.
As for that music I had to learn in three practices, I already knew the tune and words to the songs so I just had to learn the arrangement. That was easy to do. I sang without the music both times (only holding the folder open for appearance purposes--anyone looking over my shoulder would have noticed I didn't have the music open). I feel satisfied with the outcome, though I didn't quite reach the "freedom" status that I wanted--it was close. It takes a lot to get to that status.
You'd think by now I should have taken the easy way and just quit these things all together, because it can get quite uncomfortable at times doing something that might require exposing myself a bit, but it hasn't. I've had some priceless memories with friends and family that I've created by continuing and I believe something more comes out of this than I realize. I can be quite stubborn and go through a lot of heartache before I give up on something I'm this passionate about. I've known from a young age, despite what anyone else thinks, music is in my blood and it's not going anywhere.
You'd think by now I should have taken the easy way and just quit these things all together, because it can get quite uncomfortable at times doing something that might require exposing myself a bit, but it hasn't. I've had some priceless memories with friends and family that I've created by continuing and I believe something more comes out of this than I realize. I can be quite stubborn and go through a lot of heartache before I give up on something I'm this passionate about. I've known from a young age, despite what anyone else thinks, music is in my blood and it's not going anywhere.
